Valentine Thoughts

For the 4th anniversary of a breakup, or my attempt to write something on V-day.

It's been four years, but you don't forget memories of the person who was your first love. So, as a Valentine's tradition, I decided to take a trip down memory lane.

 I clearly remember that early winter dawn. It was very cold, the sun was yet to rise, the air smelled of brisk fallen leaves, the wind froze each and every breath. Just two hours before I set off, he found out about my plan to surprise visit him. Angrily, he texted me not to come, because "there was no point in saving our broken relationship". I ignored the text, calmly finished packing, quietly but assertively left the still asleep building.

 I surprised myself by not balling my eyes off. Each step was filled with a fiery determination that up till then, I never knew I had. Walking downhill in the darkness, flashbacks of the most beautiful moments of our two-year long relationship rushed through my pained yet strong mind. I was not to let it go. Not yet, not like this. I resisted every temptation to pity myself. I even sang a little.

 Yes, we did end up breaking up after all. But three months later, in a different situation. The trip ended up working out. I had him back, even just for a little while longer.

 But I would never forget that little fire in me on that cold November day. It has managed to keep me warm, strong and clear-headed until this day. It has reminded me of why I did fall in and out of love, nevertheless would willingly fall in and out of it again. It has kept me sane, on a day like Valentine's Day.