When they say you are a good mother

Mother’s Day Photoshoot by my friend Kayla. Also, #normalizebreastfeeding.

Mother’s Day 2018 - for all the mothers I know.

When they say you are a good mother
At first, you deny it.
Because, #momguilt
They don’t know about the time you left your baby in the car
even just for 2 minutes
so you can run to the store real quick and get some errands done;
They don’t know about the time you scream at your baby
then cry your eyes off apologizing in shame because she’s done nothing wrong;
They don’t know about the time you wish you weren’t a mom
maybe just for 20 minutes
so that you could dance on the floor and lose yourself in the rhythm
without having to watch over your shoulder for a crying baby that needs her mother and only her mother’s comfort

When they say you are a good mother
Sometimes, you resent it.
“Good? That’s all you’ve got?”
I mean
A bright sunny day is good;
A cold cup of ice tea on a scorching day is good;
A person holding your door while you are in a rush is good;
But a mother?
You’ve gotta squeeze the entire universe and double it and triple it and multiply it some more
that’s maybe when you stand a chance of describing her in one word.

When they say you are a good mother
Maybe, just maybe
You smile and accept it.
Because you are not perfect
No, even your mother isn’t;
and neither is “that perfect mom”;
You learn on the job,
try the best you possibly could
some days more than others’
You make mistakes
fail to balance whichever it is that you need to balance
just like everybody else ;
Still
You carry your baby & the whole world on your shoulder with love
because
love is the best thing we mothers do

So when they say you are a good mother
Like a mantra, repeat after me
I am a good mother
I am a good mother
I am a good mother