Recently, my colleague, friend and fellow feminist Natasha messaged me on Instagram* a link to a 40-minute rant by someone whose opinions on JK Rowling sparked her interest, titled “The Thought-Crimes of JK Rowling” and asked to discuss it with me. We ended up talking for about 2 hours and decided that we might want to dive even deeper and do a podcast on this.

For context, on my own social media for the past few weeks, I have been quite vocal about my distress and disillusionment at JKR (my used-to-be-childhood hero) about her bigotry towards trans people. Prior to even voicing any concern at all about this matter, I had spent about a month in agony and even denial, since I just can’t bring myself to reconcile my love for Harry Potter the series and my disgust at the harm someone as powerful as JKR has created for the trans community.**

Harry Potter was a big part of my childhood, and JKR has influenced me in many ways, including how she had always championing fighting for women (& children), not least by writing about women as characters who are nuanced, bold, and real. Hell, the fact that I’m even a feminist in the first place, was thanks a lot to women like JK Rowling.

Why have I been so vocal against her then? I’m not a trans person. I know only a handful of trans people in my life. In fact, as have most people, I’ve spent most of my life pretty much blinded to the struggle trans people face everyday, simply for existing and… being trans.

I thought long & hard about this question, and I think the answer has got to do with Black Lives Matter. I know, it sounds far fetched. But let me explain myself.

The JKR controversy started around a heightened time in our collective lived moment, when the protests against racial injustice and police brutality spread like wildfires across America and around the world, in response to the death of George Floyd and many others at the hand of cops. The protests happened in the middle of a pandemic that disproportionately affects black people and people of color.

“In a racist society, it’s not enough to be non-racist, we have to be antiracist.”

So many people, myself included, resonate with this statement by Angela Davis, and start championing antiracism discussions in their very mundane, very “2020” activism, on social media.

The controversy also happened in the aftermath of a historic United States Supreme Court decision to protect gays, lesbians, and transgender people, from discrimination based on sex. It was an amazing “win” for the LGBTQI+ community, especially one made during Pride Month.

It was during this backdrop of events that JK Rowling decided to tweet openly about her disdain towards language that’s intended to be more inclusive of trans women, followed by her problematic essay that justifies her actions as righteous fight for women. (Begging the question: Why? Why this month? Why now? Why ever?***)

“In a transphobic society, it is not enough to be non-transphobic, we have to be anti-transphobic”, was the thought that crossed my mind.

Trans people have been vilified in our collective consciousness as represented by the media for as long as I remember (think: Ursula from Little Mermaid, or Chandler’s dad from Friends). So much so that the fact that they are either evil caricatures or imposters to be made fun of are normalized and often go unchallenged.

And when people in position of power can speak so openly and eloquently about their own transphobia (dressed as feminism, in this case. The correct term is Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist, or TERFs), a non-significant portion of society eats it up. Hell, when Natasha sent me that video, she, a feminist and a progressive herself, found parts of it to be very resonating.

So today, I would like to use my position as a cis woman, a woman of color, and a feminist, to dissect some of the “flowery” TERF language to mislead and fear-monger women exactly like myself (feminine, mother, consider themselves feminist) against supporting trans people and gender identity movement. I will use that same exact video Natasha sent me, as it apparently was convincing enough. I decided to comment on this person’s account instead of JKR’s essay, for two main reasons: 1. JKR’s essay has been analyzed by enough people, so you can do your own research. and 2. Most TERFs arguments, regardless of varied circumstances and those who make them, are very similar. Once you learn the “tactics” of one’s logical fallacy, you can auto-detect that from others.

The video I’m reacting to is about 40 mins long but my reaction on it, posted below, lasts for about an hour. You can listen and also read my commentary below, starting 8:30. Rough transcript of my comments with timestamps are also posted, with linkage to several sources.

10:02 - The Maya Forstater Case

The Maya Fostaster case was grossly misrepresented by both JKR and by this person, emphasizing that she’s just an innocent “tax specialist” who got fired for free speech, or lack thereof. The judge did not rule that she should be fired because of her opinion. The judge rules that she can have that opinion no problem, but a civil society doesn’t have to think of it as a good opinion. There are 5 characteristics of protected speech. Her claim that men can not be women (and other claims) do not have all 5. Source here.

11:42 - The “menstruators” article

The article mentioned in JK Rowling’s tweet actually did only refer only to people who menstruate (not prepubescent children or postmenopausal women). Attacking a factual statement and use it as an indirect critic of more inclusive language that bring trans women in, is just scapegoating.

12:44 - Sex is real!

Of course it is. Transgender people agree. Maybe a very small percentage of people (transgender or otherwise) disagree. This is the part where JKR and this person conveniently ignore every time. No one is saying sex isn’t real. They only want society to acknowledge that gender is also real. It’s exactly because they know and understand that sex is real that’s why they transition in the first place.

17:09 & 25:00 - Gender Dysphoria

She mistakenly conflates Gender Dysphoria and, well, womanhood, just like JKR did in her essay “I too might have tried to transition”, she wrote. Did she really have a point in her life where she genuinely wanted to be a man and thought she was born in the wrong body? I do not imagine so. Her storytelling up to this point doesn’t suggest that. Being uncomfortable with your own body is the lived experience of many if not most women, at some point in our lives, due to this extremely misogynistic society we live in. By calling that experience of her gender dysphoria, she delegitimizes a lot of trans people’s reality that they were born in the wrong body.

This is not to say her experience wasn’t real or valid. Anorexia is very commonly an expression of self-misogyny. But it’s not at all dysphoria. It is something that all women (and yes trans women too) resent sometimes about being a woman. Despite it all, they still transition and cis women still continue to be women.

19:44 - Sex is binary

Sex is not 100% binary in humans. There are intersex people and people who were born without any sex organ. But yes, I agree (and so do most trans people as well) that with a few exceptions that sex is binary, no doubt.

21:14 - All women are different from men because of their sex

It’s true that’s there are some distinctive characteristics that only the biological females can have. Again, trans people don’t disagree at all. This is why intersectionality matters. The lived experience of a biological woman is different than that of a trans woman. Similarly, the lived experience of a white woman is different from that of a brown woman. But they are all women and should be protected under the same umbrella of feminism that protects women from abuse and misogyny. When the cases arise where the differences between women matter (such as dealing with racism, or treating biologically significant illnesses, such as MS), added conversations and layers should be had.

22:39 - All women contend with the possibility of being pregnant at some point in their lives

This is not true. All women, trans women included, contend with the possibility of having a kid, at some point in their lives. Not all women contend the possibility of being pregnant. This includes trans women, infertile women or sterile women.

26:47 - All women feel threatened by men

Feeling as though you are threatened by a man is also a common feeling among many if not most women. She said statistically, men are women greatest danger and I agree. Statiscally, a black trans woman’s life expectancy is around 35 (source). She is the most likely to be killed by a man. Not the other way around (she’ll get to it - don’t you worry - arguing that trans women rape other women at higher rate than cis man)

29:00 - The Dalai Lama quote

Let’s forget the problematic cultural appropriation of an Eastern philosopher by a white Western woman for a moment and focus on her example. She said if she were stranded on an island and see another human over horizon, the only thing she would be watching out for is that person’s sex, so she can get a weapon to protect herself.

I understand that to her and some others, the only thing that matters when she’s stranded is someone else’s sex. Not true for all women. It’s true to her since I could imagine as a white cis woman the only “dangerous” part of her identity is womanhood. But to me for example, I could and would also consider their race, since I’m not white.

31:29 - A woman has no control over her body (we bleed, we get stared at…)

Having no controlled over your body is a good one. It’s true that being a woman very often times means having little control of what your body does. However, menstruating is not the only defining character of a woman. It’s also being stared at like objects. And that’s common for all women, trans woman included.

At this point of the video, I realize this pattern: she, just like JKR, somehow thinks her cis femininity and womanhood are somehow special and exclusive of trans people.

34:33 - I’m confused: you decide to wear a dress and now you are a woman?

This was the hardest part for me to listen to. She told the story about staying over a gay couple’s house where they shared about their friend who was a trans woman. In her recount, she purposefully misgendered this poor trans person and described her as “a man in dress”. I have no words there. My respect for her after this point just plummeted.

35:55 - I just pushed a baby out of my vigina.

Not too long ago, you said being a woman doesn’t have to mean being a mother. And now you discredit someone’s womanness because they didn’t just push someone out of vagina like you?

37:57 - The gender identity movement devalues sex

Somehow, she thinks support for gender devalues sex. This is incredibly misguided. Support for a more racially just society doesn’t devalue feminism, so why would support for trans rights any different?

Imagine a trans woman who’s gay. Wouldn’t it be easier for her to stay a man who’s attracted to a woman rather than go through both homophobia and transphobia just to be… denying that sex is real?

39:39 - Transition is only about aesthetics

While there are some people who only do it for the aesthetics, that’s not at all the majority. If it’s not clear already: No you can’t be a woman if you simply wear dresses. You can’t be a man if you simply wear jeans. Describing trans people in those terms is just so degrading. Gender Identity is more than just the self expression of what you wear. It is what you feel, is true, in your heart. I feel in my mind and heart that I am a woman way before I became one, long before menstruation or childbirth. It’s a privilege. Not all people have that privilege when they were born.

Many trans people go through a very painful process of hormones injection and body surgery to be who they truly are. Also - there are a lot of gender-conforming men who wear dresses or makeup, as well as nonbinary people.

43:22 - The gender identity movement pathologizes and demonizes womanhood. It’s also incredibly homophobic.

No you can’t have it both. You can’t say the gender identity movement pathologizes and demonizes womanhood but also say trans women are in fact men (they love womanhood so much they want to risk their lives to be one, don’t they?) And you can’t say trans women are homophobic because they are just men who don’t want to admit that they are gay, because how could you explain trans women who are also lesbians?

Here’s a little secret: The arguments of TERFs are often weak because they will never be able to fit trans man, trans women and lesbians under the same attack and still stay consistent.

The problem is absolutely not the female body. The problem is puristic simplistic definition of female. The problem is that zero-sum mentality that assumes your gain is my loss, which is the pillar of the arguments against Black Lives Matter, feminism, gay marriage, and now, trans rights.

45:03 - There’s a lot of money in the Gender Dysphoria Industry.

Wow great for her for describing life saving drugs and life saving doctors as evil capitalists. Didn’t she have like 2 min long ad before this very “generous” video.

Not saying that there’s no cavelier opportunistic player in any industry, but calling out money interest is a little hypocritical coming from someone who monetizes by making social commentaries like she is doing.

46:48 - TERF is a slur

TERFs is not a slur. Conflating it to “bitch” or “witch” is misleading. Most people don’t even know what TERF is. It’s a term coined to describe people who think womanhood is special to only the cis biological female and no one else. This perspective is common enough that using the word is just a lot easier to understand than spelling it out. While it’s not a slur, it’s also not meant to be complementary because what is there to compliment someone who excludes and demeans others out of convenient ignorance?

47:29 - Canadian Bill C 16

49:09 - Sex and Gender co-existence is inherently contradictory

Again, say it with me for the millionth time: protecting sex does not conflict protecting gender. 🤬🤬🤬

This is the exact same kind of zero-sum mentality that explains most bigotry. Sex and Gender are both valid and should be both protected.

49:11 - Gender can mean whatever a person would like it to mean

No - gender does not mean whatever one likes it to mean. (But so what if it does, really?)

No one should have to consider a person who identifies as a shrimp seriously because a. such a person is rare, or nonexistent and b. a shrimp self-identifier harms no one. But gender identity as protected category is, for all intents and purposes, mainly about trans people.

51:08 - Gender, like religion, is totally subjective

So what? There are plenty religious freedom bills. Religion is fuzzy, but protected. Why shouldn’t gender be?

51:45 - Trans people enjoy the exact same rights before the introduction of trans rights

No trans people do not enjoy the exact same rights. They are denied most things based on their trans identity in many cultures and countries

52:59 - “I support everyone’s right to freedom and protection against discrimination, but..”

No but.

So where’s the “woman can do whatever she wants” righteousness she has when it comes to trans man who she insists is a woman? Can *she* in this particular case not transition and if she does she’s invalid? See above for the logical fallacy of TERF.

When conflicts come, we deal with them. For example, when a white woman is allegedly abused by a black man. We deal with both racism and sexism in that case. It’s very nuanced and incredibly complicated, but that does not make the woman a man, or the black person a white.

54:45 - This bill endangers women as a class

Lol. The good old “men now are allowed in women’s bathroom” argument. Biological women should be in women’s bathroom and biological men should be in men’s bathroom. This is absolutely ridiculous for two reasons:

Why wouldn’t you want to protect a trans woman from attacks in a bathroom full of men just because you can’t check her bottom? A woman who otherwise looks exactly like you, from her aesthetics to her vulnerability. Instead of protecting her, you would want a man instead to be in your bathroom just because he used to have a vagina?

Moreover, this is ridiculously impractical. You can’t just have a policeman in every single bathroom checking every person’s bottom. This is confusing at best and actually dangerous at worst.

56:27 - Men who are identify as women are more likely to commit sexual crime… so now, women are predators

This is just so fucking wrong and pure fear-mongering. No research or professional in the field can support this.There are hundreds of peer review studies that point to the contrary. One incredible recent one from the Scottish government here. Do your own research on peer-review sites, please (Google Scholar is a good start).

And if it’s not already clear, trans women are actually the most vulnerable group of people are more likely to be killed than cis women are. One source here. I can’t believe she actually thinks most trans women rape other women at a higher rate and that is somehow supported by statistics.

1:1:58 - Those poor children!

Oh yes, the “save the children” argument. A favorite among bigots to oppose gay rights and now trans rights.

1:3:17 - Chemicals are harmful

Yes chemicals harm the body. BFD. Of course they do, and yes despite what they do some people’s miserable lived experience is so painful that they’d rather go through that than living not as who they truly are.

There are many life-saving drugs with severe side effects. Think: anti-depression, or insomnia drugs.

1:6:24 - “He just wouldn’t wear any boy’s clothes so we support his transition”

A girl who is a boy trapped in a girl body is more than just wanting to dress as a boy. She glosses over the details because: a. She doesn’t know the family or the child and this makes assumptions and b. The media might paint a picture simply for the general audience to have an idea. It’s never that simple. As a parent, I would be able to have a convo with Norah when the time comes what she identifies as. And not because she’s wearing certain clothes. Children are smarter than what adults give them credit for.

Painting the picture as a easy decision for the family is just wrong. In order for them to even entertain the idea, there has to be such obvious and difficult conversations to have early on and many times over. Not one day, the child decided that and the family’s like: cool no problem let’s inject a bunch of hormones into you.

Moreover, homophobia is nowhere near legitimized as transphobia. The idea that one can just “escape” because of homophobia to be trans is just ridiculous.

Closing Note

I try to empathize a lot with this woman’s perspective but watching 40 minutes of extremely misguided at best and bigoted at worst rant against trans people gets more and more painful as I continue on. The only reason why I can actually afford to go through these arguments without completely losing it, as they’d deligitimize the very essence of my being, is that I’m not a trans person. Simply as that.

And that’s the scary thing about bigotry. It is often eloquent. It is often convincing. It is often dressed as something “good”. Racism dresses as the return to “Western” civilization & culture. Homophobia dresses as the sanctity of God-given union between man and woman. And Transphobia dressed as Feminism and protection for women against violence. All in the name of goodness.

Let’s all be better and do better.

Lastly, if you are looking to start educating yourself with trans rights (because, trans rights are human rights), I highly recommend following Contrapoints (Natalie Wynn is a gay trans woman) and Jammidodger (Jamie is a straight trans man). I have these beautiful humans to thank for my (very early & green) understanding of the trans rights and gender identity movement.

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*Please do remind me to revisit this can of worms again sometimes in the future. I really want to discuss how my experience on what I call “white mommy blogger” Instagram (the group I was most drawn to when I started my mommy Instagram account) has been. Spoiler: problematic. For a very interesting POV on Instagram activism, you can turn to this podcast done by no other than Natasha Nel. Yes, the Natasha.

**For more understanding/potential reconciliation on this, I highly recommend watching this video essay by Lindsey Ellis.

***Later on, I’ve learned that JKR has actually had a pattern of supporting transphobia rhetoric and transphobic people, dating much further back than her tweet in June.