18 Questions to Reflect on 2021

*Pictures taken on Norah’s new Polaroid Camera, which she is a master of :)*

It’s the first day of 2022! 2021 is finally behind us. While I love to complain about the shitty state of the world (it’s still going down), 2021 has actually been an amazing year for me and my family. So I sat down with my journal and answered 18 questions I found on the internet that are meant to help you reflect on your year. What about you? I would love it if you give these 18 questions a try.

Disclaimer: I didn’t come up with these 18 questions myself. It was from one of my favorite influencers (I’ve followed her for a decade now, come to think of it), Jenn Im, who also got them from someone else. Check out their Instagram Jenn Im and/or Dr Abdaal for the original questions. Also, I typed out the answers from my journal for readability :)

*Excerpts from my actual journal. I found the process of writing out the answers therapeutic & cathartic.*

1. When have you felt proud of yourself in 2021? What were you doing?

When Marcos finally got his house! I stuck with him throughout the process even though the prospect seemed bleak at times. I’m so glad we were able to change (an effective stranger’s) life in a meaningful way.

Getting our house was great, but what I never knew was how gratifying helping an employee get a house was gonna be.

2. If you had to teach one thing you learned this year (that would improve one’s quality of life) what would that be?

Art and pictures on the wall! The more the better.

*A section of our office wall*
This is one area of interior decor that I don’t subscribe to minimalism/ “Instagram aesthetics” whatever that means.
We built a wall gallery in our office, sprinkled art throughout our bedrooms, bathrooms, hallway and staircase. They have made our lives so much better.

3. What kept you up at night with excitement this year? Was it worth it? Would you want to do more of it?

Honestly, Tiktok 😬 Probably did it 2-3 times a week.

I would like to cut my Tiktok consumption to just once a week or every other week instead. At least they do have the “hold on! You’ve been scrolling for way too long now” functionality, which I always obliged to lol.

But just so you know, I discover this year that my love language is to send Tiktoks to people who I think will appreciate them. So I will keep doing that!

4. How did you have fun differently in 2021?

Not really anything “differently”, but I enjoy giving emojis on Slack, and sharing random shit on some channels such as #only_at_hackernoon, #random, or even #vp.

Being a remote company, we connect with each other this way. It’s our love language.

5. How did you suffer differently in 2021?

Less. Before, when I scrolled social and found something I dislike, I would just sit with that discomfort. Now I either block, unfollow or click “not interested”. Probably created a few eco chambers this way but oh well. Life is too short. This way, I suffer less.

6. What people/kind of people did you spend less time with in 2021?

Those who I don’t care about or don’t care about me and my people. Life is too short.

I broke up with a friend this year after realizing patterns in our friendship that were toxic/not good for my mental health (and probably hers too, to a lesser extent). It felt sad, like the end of an era. But it was the right thing to do. Most of the times, friends can just drift apart but our (previously strong) connection required an actual breakup. I felt free.

7. What people/kind of people did you spend more time with in 2021?

Family (obviously). Colleagues. Friends with kids (we can be on the same page about things!)

Honestly, as I grow up, I spend time with fewer people but try my best to keep those connections real, authentic and deep. I intend to keep it that way.

8. What did you feel guilty for in 2021?

Not being more in touch with my mom’s health.

Taking that 2nd Moderna shot really took a toll on her. But they (my dad, my brother and my mom herself) all decided to not overshare that with me to avoid making me worry, One of the permanent cons of living in a different continent than your family…

9. What 3 people are you the most grateful to in 2021 and why? How can you thank them? How can you find more people like this in your life?

My colleague Hang. She’s my rock at work. I thank her by (trying to) be there for her more than just a mentor/boss. She needs to take care of her own life too. We need to prosper a good and balanced working environment to attract more Hangs to the company. I thought introducing a company-wide fully-funded mental health program was a pretty good start.

My husband and partner in crime for absolutely everything, without whom my life would be a lot different and I’m not sure I would like it. While I don’t need more Davids in my life (lol) but I can thank him by being there for him the same way he is for me.

My mother in law. I admire her so much and I aspire to be a mom, a wife, a friend, and a member of society like her. I also don’t need more Dianes in my life lol. I don’t think I can ever thank her enough, like with my own mother.

*The two mothers in my life who I can never thank enough*

10. What have you learned about the way that you deal with uncertainty in 2021?

Trust the process. Follow my own instincts. (But also) be open to being wrong. Be okay with things not turning out the way I hope. Experience more, expect less.

11. What new habits did you create in 2021? Which ones would you want to keep?

I’m sharing here the ones I’m keeping.

✅ Always mouth rinse after water flossing (which I’ve been doing since 2018). My dentist commended me on my dental hygiene on our last visit and I was very proud 😊

✅ Not obsess over walking at least 15,000 steps a day anymore (like I did last year). I still walk on average 13,041 steps which equals 5 miles a day. But I allow myself to have rest days.

*This is pretty good considering I lost my fitbit to the Hawaiian wave in February, and to the LA.. air(?) in August.*

✅Take off Fitbit when I sleep even though I originally bought the device to track my sleep and keep tap on my insomnia. Now that I no longer have insomnia, I no longer am dependent on those REM/deep sleep stats, and my life vastly improved.

I guess a big lesson I learned is health stats tracking is neither good nor sustainable for me, personally. Be it weight, calorie intake/outtake, steps a day, hours + patterns of sleep as measured by arbitrary numbers.

I know intuitively in my bones that when I eat well, move often, rest a lot, I will feel good and have a great day. I don’t need Fitbit to tell me that.

12. Did you feel you spent enough time with your family/significant other in 2021? How would you change this in 2022?

A resounding YES. Blessing of working from home and residing in the mountains!

David and I recently talked to a couple who also run a company together. We all agreed that one of the perks that people rarely talk about (people actually tend to focus on the negatives the most when it comes to couples working together), is the ability to connect and empathize with each other’s struggles to the deepest level. Work is such an important part of both of our lives and I’m glad that we get to do work and life together.

As for Norah, I’m glad that I get to watch her grow and spend meaningful time with her everyday. She loves sharing with me about her day during our night time routine. During this extended holiday break, we’ve been dancing, doing arts and craft, and reading books (yes she can read Bob Books now, aka stories with simple 3-letter words) non-stop. I don’t feel out of touch with what’s happening in her life because I’m there for all of it.

In 2022, we will welcome a new life to our fam, and I hope I will still get to spend quality time with both of them, though some adjustments will need made.

*Anxiously waiting for Baby Boy Smooke to join our fam in 2022!*

13. What things did you stop caring about in 2021?

US Politics! Well, not completely, but definitely a whole lot less than the 4 years prior. No longer is US politics dominating my podcast and feed. And for that, I’ve got… Trump to thank. I have no desire to have to care so much about whether or not my president’s gonna destroy everything remotely decent about this country every 2 seconds again, like I did when he was president. Politics is boring again, and that’s a blessing.

14. What new thing did you spend a lot of money on in 2021?

Malena! She’s our awesome house cleaner. She makes our life so much better on a weekly basis; and we pay her generously too. She even asked us to be the first testimonial for her cleaning business’s new website!

I love that we pay a real person who runs a small business and not Vail Corp or a large service company. Supporting small local businesses is our way of contributing to this valley we call home.

15. What new thing did you spend a lot of time on in 2021?

Not much.

The things I’m spending lots of time on are not new (Slack - for work, cleaning - for my own sanity, walking + podcasting - for my health + education…).

The new things I discover, I haven’t spent a lot of time on (Spotify, for example, to discover new music. I learned though that I LOVE Olivia Rodrigo… maybe a bit too much.

16. What do you feel you’ve gotten a lot better at in 2021?

I feel like I’ve gotten a lot better at home projects in general, and Interior Design in particular!

I designed an entire kitchen from scratch and it’s even better in real life than in pictures.

*A picture of our kitchen I took like 2 mins ago :)*

17. When you felt at peace this year, what were you doing?

Making my double oat milk cappuccino with extra froth, practically every day.

18. Which of last years goals did you not achieve? Why did you not achieve them? Will you carry them on to 2022 and if not why?

These goals to me are guidelines and not absolutes. However, we did not achieve some of them are here’s why.

❌30 mins of daily Vietnamese lessons for Norah and David:

While I did buy Norah a “Em Hoc Tieng Viet” book and have some casual “lessons” with her and David in the beginning, we didn’t really follow through with this, largely because I wasn’t committed enough. Being a bilingual family requires all-hands-on-deck effort from everyone, and I find it hard to motivate myself to do so with both of them (and double/triple/quadruple the work for myself) since communicating in English is natural for all of us.

—> We will definitely need to try harder in 2022. Maybe we’ll hire a tutor/enroll in an online class, on top of having my parents here when new baby comes. I really want Norah to be able to communicate with them.

❌ Go back to Vietnam within the year:

Obviously this did not happen because, you guess it, Covid 🥲Hopefully in 2022 this will change, and we can finally go back to Vietnam with our family of 4 (!!)

❌ Make high-end revenue goal of 4x last year

We did make the goal I stated above of 2x HackerNoon revenue again (yay!) - but internally, we set 2 more revenue goals, with the highest one being double that, and we did not achieve it. All things considered though, we manage to be (barely) profitable and keep team sane + quite happy, for the most part. So I’m proud of that 💪

All in all, it was quite a good year and I’m excited for what to come in 2022! Happy New Year!!!!!