The Birth of Our Third Child — May Hazel Smooke

*“Welcome Home, Baby May” sign made with love by Norah and uncle Kien*

On January 19, 8:52pm, at 39 weeks and 1 day, our sweet child May Hazel Smooke was born after the longest pregnancy and shortest labor of the 3 times I’ve done this. As our third baby, I thought I had a good idea of what to expect—but she surprised us all with her grand entrance! It’s amazing what our brain chooses to forget about child birth and parenting in general- happens to all of us as a self-protection mechanism and way to ensure our species keep reproducing, I’m convinced 😂

I had better and smoother experience each time we gave birth though 🙌 So, I would like to document this one both for my own sake as well as to help any expecting mother out there gain some perspective and confidence. Child birth can take a toll on the strongest of us but can also be incredibly empowering and sweet 💕

When will this baby come?

I gave birth to my first 2 kids at 39 and 38 weeks respectively so I was convinced May was gonna come a lot sooner, perhaps at 37 weeks. All the signs were there!

At my 37 prenatal appointment, doctor checked and I was already 1 cm dilated, 20% effaced. “Any day now!” I texted all my friends and family, some of whom have placed bets on the birth date.

*Look how optimistic I was that May were gonna be so early!*

However, early date bets came and went. While things were moving steadily, baby still decided to stay put as I was getting more and more impatient. By 37 weeks and 3 days, I had progressed to 2cm. By 38 weeks and 4 days, I was at 3cm. The doctor did a membrane sweep on me to move my labor along that day and even said “see you tonight” (we didn’t 😂) At 38 weeks and 6 days, I lost my mucus plug with some light pink blood. I had downloaded the contraction timing app circa week 37 but turns out the “contractions” I timed were still only Braxton Hicks/prodromal labor as they went away as soon as I went to bed.

My patience was running thin. By all standards (that weren’t my own) I wasn’t late at all but by the time I turned 39 weeks, I was sooooo over being pregnant.

Labor Onset, finally!

I woke up at 8.30 a.m on Jan 19 after a restless sleep with some mild back labor which I could feel in my dreams, and more bloody show. The contractions felt different—deeper, more real, radiating towards my back and butt, but still more than 30 minutes apart. At this point I’ve had timed periods of what I thought were real contractions 3 times already so I didn’t wanna get myself too excited.

I texted David, who was at Sunday basketball, just in case. He’d been on alert every time he left me home longer than 2 hours. He came back briefly, then left again with Norah to pick up some pastries when I told him the contractions might not be real still. When he returned and took a look at the contraction timing app, he noticed a clear pattern of contractions getting longer and closer together, though I wasn’t in too much pain. We both thought this might be it.

We made a decision a few weeks ago to not wait until the 5/1/1 rule (contractions 5 mins apart, lasting 1 min, for 1 hour) but sooner than that just because as our 3rd she could come super fast. This turned out to be the first of many “better safe than sorry” decisions that I’m so glad we made!

*My contractions that morning - not super intense but quite consistent*

Around 1 p.m., we decided to call the hospital. My contractions had been averaging 40 seconds long every 8 minutes for the past hour. Colleen, the charge nurse, agreed and told us to come in—they’d have a room ready.

David and I both put Ira down for a nap, said our goodbyes to Norah and Kien, and left for the hospital at 2 p.m. My brother had been preparing to take both kids for the night for a few weeks now. Our bags had also been ready forever. Everybody was so excited and couldn’t believe the long-awaited birth was finally happening!

*Last picture before we left for the hospital (Ira had went to bed)*

To the Hospital!

On our 20 minute drive to the hospital, I had only 2 or 3 contractions, which made me doubt whether the labor was real, still. I even told David, “This is the earliest we’ve ever gone to the hospital.” I remember this very same drive with my other two, I couldn’t breathe or sightsee at all during those contractions.

Yet this time I was calm, alert, and half expecting the hospital nurses to turn me away since it could be one of those false bouts of prodromal labor that I had gone through for a few weeks now. But in hindsight, going “early” turned out to be the perfect timing—third babies don’t waste time! Plus, I was able to appreciate the drive. I70 was beautiful and sprinkled with snow- it was cold and about to be the coldest day of the year soon!

Arrival and Early Labor

We arrived at Labor and Delivery at 2:30 p.m., and Colleen immediately recognized us—she had delivered Norah eight years earlier!

Our main nurse, Adrienne, took us to our room. It was room number 6– the same room Norah was delivered 8 years ago! (I delivered Ira next door in room 7) My contractions still came consistently, but not strong enough to stop me in my tracks. I was able to walk around the room, admiring the amenities, and put our packed stuff away quite calmly 😆

*The hospital room was exactly like how I remember, except this time I could actually appreciate the view*

At around 3 p.m., my cervix got checked and I was somewhere between 4 and 5 cm dilated and almost completely effaced. I still wasn’t in too much pain, so I let Adrienne know I wasn’t ready for the epidural just yet. She did however told me to give her a heads-up 45 minutes to an hour before I’d want it as the anesthesiologist would need to drive 20 minutes to get to the hospital.

We settled in. I labored some more on a birthing ball (pictured above), and continued to breathe through my rapidly strengthening contractions.

Epidural and Progression

After about another hour of natural labor, at 4:21 p.m., I decided it was best to get the epidural sooner rather than later, knowing contractions could ramp up fast. The sun was setting soon and I wouldn’t be able to appreciate the mountain view much longer anyway. I was probably around 6 cm at that point.

The anesthesiologist arrived around 5 p.m.—the same one from 2.5 years ago! He didn’t remember me, which was actually a good thing—it meant my last epidural was uneventful.

As expected, contractions intensified quickly, and my pain jumped from a 4 to a 6 seemingly out of nowhere. I focused on breathing through them, chanting to myself helpful phrases like “breathe the baby down”; “thank you, body, for doing the work”; and “the less you resist, the less it hurts.”

The numbing needle went in, then the tape, and then the epidural itself. This time, it was administered more slowly than I remembered, but it worked well. Within 20 minutes, I could still feel contractions but could talk through them again. But the epidural didn’t come without some caveats. As soon as the first shot went in, I experienced a jerk on my left leg. The doctor said it happened in 30% of cases and just meant some drug got to my left side sooner than later.

Sunny Side Up

At 5:40 p.m., after Adrienne helped me shift from my left to right side so the epidural went a bit more into my right side, I suddenly felt lightheaded. Baby May did not like that position—both our heart rates dropped. The team quickly gave me medication to stabilize my blood pressure and make sure the baby was okay.

By 6 p.m., I could now read a book (John Green’s The Anthropocene Reviewed), though I still felt contractions. The nurses confirmed Baby May was “sunny side up,” meaning she was facing the wrong way (head down, but face up instead of down), which explained the back labor. Her back was up right against mine, which would have caused enormous pain had it not been for the epidural. Even still, I was still feeling my contractions and pain was at a 2 or 3.

At 6:30 p.m., Dr. Segar came in as I was reading. She checked me and found I was between 6 and 7 cm. The baby, as noted, was malpositioned, and she said to spin her around she had several methods under her belt. One of them would involve using a small cup to vacuum suction her head out, which David heard and immediately was not a fan of 🤣

We didn’t have to decide on that yet though, so she suggested breaking my water, though she did warn me that things would move fast after that. Colleen even predicted, “If she breaks your water, you’ll be pushing this baby out in no time.” That surprised me, since my labor with Ira had slowed down after getting the epidural. I thought I had more time to read through John Green’s book.

*Side Note: The Anthropocene by one of my favorite authors John Green is a very good read!*

I gave the go-ahead, and the doctor broke my water. Immediately, Adrienne placed a peanut ball between my legs to help create space for the baby to move down and hopefully spin to the right position.

Enter Lyric: The Miracle Nurse

At 7:30 p.m., the shift changed, we said goodbye to the helpful and very liberal in her explanation Adrienne, and said hi to our new nurse, Lyric. She came a bit later than planned as i-70 was getting heavy snow and she was behind a snow truck. She turned out to be the true hero of my birth story!

After hearing that I was experiencing persistent lower back pain due to the baby’s sunny-side-up position, she suggested a 3-part spinning technique to help May turn her head down the right way. It involved crossing my left leg over my right while the right leg stayed straight + David jiggling my hips for 10 minutes + Repeating on the other side. The positions were a lot of breathing work. Even with the epidural, I had to close my eyes and breathe deeply through the contractions—they were getting more and more intense. The last position suggested by Lyric was the key: I moved to my hands and knees, chest on a pillow—the “puppy pose” from yoga. My left leg was completely noodle at this point, I could only feel and move my right leg. It was weird to do the puppy pose feeling like a 3-legged dog 😂 Lyric encouraged me, saying, “I know it feels weird, but even though you can’t feel your left leg, just imagine lifting your left leg. I’ll help you move it.” Mind over matter! Somehow it worked!

After about 10 minutes of this puppy position, the back pain had slowly all but disappeared! I told her I could stay in this position forever. I even ended up chatting with Dr. Segar for another few minutes.

Ready to Push

By 8 p.m., Dr. Segar checked me again and was shocked: “She’s low. It’s time to push!”

I was equally shocked—things had moved so much faster than I expected. I never had epidural with Norah so labor was understandably fast. But with Ira, it took him 8 hours to arrive from when the epidural got administered! It had only been 3 hours with May.

Doctor told me an even better news: May had successfully flipped into the right position. Lyric’s spinning method worked!!! At this point, I felt no pain at all, which was surreal. My back pain had disappeared now that she was in the right spot, and the epidural finally fully kicked in.

My first few pushes weren’t very effective because I kept exhaling while pushing (you are supposed to inhale, push for as long as possible, then exhale. Yet another one of the things that you just forgot as soon as you gave birth) Dr. Segar gave me some pointers, and after two stronger pushes, they cheered, “Yep, just like that!

Fourteen minutes in, Dr. Segar suddenly told me to stop pushing. I wasn’t sure why, but I trusted her. She later explained that the umbilical cord was wrapped around the baby’s neck—she needed time to gently maneuver it off.

Then, she mentioned she might have to use a vacuum to get baby out if she didn’t come out soon, presumably because the umbilical cord episode had dropped baby’s heart rate again. And.. that “threat” was all the motivation baby and I needed. With one last big push, baby May was born at 8:52 p.m. - my fastest warrior ever!!!!

She came out super purple, screaming her lungs out. It all happened so fast that I was in shock—no tears, just pure joy.
David cut the cord for the third time, though he was briefly worried that the doctor might do it before he got the chance. He thought the cord felt firmer this time, but I suspect it was just easier for him since the doctor had already stretched it out.

Then came the biggest surprise—her size! She definitely felt small. David guessed 5 lbs 15 oz. I guessed 6 lbs 10 oz. After holding her, David revised his guess to 6 lbs 8 oz. Norah and Ira weighed 6l bs 13 oz and 6 lbs 12 oz respectively.

May’s actual weight? 5 lbs 15.9 oz. Our tiniest baby yet, but strong, healthy, and already showing her feisty spirit. Her cries were loud and high-pitched, and her oxygen level was at 100 😆 Norah’s was below 90 and she needed to stay at the hospital for one more night to be on oxygen. But just like the other two, May took on to the breast right away and seemed to have a healthy appetite.

She got to meet her siblings and uncle and nonna the very next day. To say they were smitten would be a complete understatement. Having siblings greet each other for the first time (especially when they are still young) now belongs to my list of best things to see as a parent. We are so very tired still 4 weeks postpartum as I’m writing this, and it never fails to amaze me that we have 3 little ones now to love and raise. (The toddler is the hardest if you wonder 😆 even though in general he’s our easiest baby)

If you are looking for some labor and delivery tips, I’ve written a lot of them here in my delivering Ira blog post. I still stand by all of my advice! What I would add on top of that list after delivering naturally for 3 times now, is this: child birth can be scary if you go into it all guarded and expecting the worst. But like most things in life, perspectives matter. If you go into it with an open mind and deal with problems as they come (as opposed to anticipating them), then the experience could be very sweet, beautiful and empowering as well. I never expect to not experience pain. That’s not the point of birth. But the moment I rephrase the pain in my mind as something good, something to be thankful for, my body relaxes and I kid you not, if feels less painful. Remember- pain is felt via brain receptors. If you decide at the brain level that you welcome it, then I’d think that’s half of the battle already. And of course, just like last time, I would always advocate for epidural. It makes all the difference!

Thank you for making it to the end of my blog post 🥰 until next time!