Mother’s Day can be incredibly complicated. Ever since I became a mother, my mom heart truly became sensitive for those who never had a good relationship with their own mother, those who lost their mother, those who want so bad to be mother but can’t, those who don’t want to be mother, those whose children are no longer earth bound with them, those who find this day ridiculous for various reasons: the societal expectation, the disappointment and loss, the over commercialization of it all.

My dad’s mom, my bà nội, lost her only daughter and eldest child of four who was barely 13 years old, at age 33/34- my age right now. I can’t even fathom. She needed to go on still because she still had 3 boys and a husband to feed. I’ve talked to my grandpa many times about the loss of my aunt. But I don’t remember ever talking to my grandma about it. My grandpa is poetic. My grandma is more practical and less touchy feely. Yet it’s not hard for me to imagine that she probably never healed from losing her only daughter and had to bring her pain with her to the graves. I still regret not having ever asked her to this day.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom. It’s my true honor and gift of a lifetime to be gifted this role. I’m showered with love by my kids everyday, not just this day.

Yet, I find myself in a weird mood on this day always. I can imagine the many women before me and after me to also battle with some similar feelings. You are not alone. Give yourself some grace and your inner child a lot of love on a day like today. 

Bonus, some pictures of a few mothers who are endlessly inspirational to me.

My Mom

My mother-in-law Diane

My amazing friend and mother to 4 beautiful children, April 

My sister in law Rachel, brand new mom to Charlie in these pix!

Happy Mother’s Day. May you find peace and love, and room in your heart for tenderness through it all.